Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Fee's LiveJournal:

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Monday, July 17th, 2006
6:19 pm	It's 103F. Thank God for A/C.
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
12:26 pm	Not sure what got me thinking this morning but I realised that 15 years ago we were nearly doing finals. 15 years!!! Actually, I do know, it was listening to Billy Bragg...wow, that brings back all the memories....the kind of nostalgia that physically hurts and is so bittersweet. For a second I would have given almost anything to be back there. 15 years ago I was hopelessly crazy about Nige...when I should have been focusing on finals I was spending time with him when I could and thinking about him when I couldn't. By the end of May, we were together more and more, and on the 1st of June he asked me out (how sweet) while we were in the Antelope with Ian and Sue. But if the chase is always better than the kill (to quote Billy) then May was the most intense and wonderful month. I remember sitting in the sun on the steps with Dave, being so tired that I thought I'd never even stagger home. I remember sitting giggling with Anne and Fiona, wandering all over campus in the sunshine, telling Fiona that she'd know when I was getting stressed because I'd stop painting my nails. Walking into college, sun sparkling on the sea, running to get a seat in the library...oh and of course, collapsing into hysterics that time in the library with Fiona over the "I love you" note. Anne giving me the lyrics to "Time Stand Still", which still tears me apart...Anne and Ian and their hot chocolate...days of hopeless laziness and waste...days of doing some great work and feeling like I'd actually learned something. But funnily enough, those "wasted" days don't seem so wasted now. I'm even past the point where I'd like to go back and re-do them...they're perfect as they were...because they're what's making me want to cry just for the sheer love of having had them and shared them. And they brought me here, to being happier than I ever have been. So I can look out of the window onto another gorgeous sunny day in CT and be reminded of the heaven that was Swansea 15 years ago...how lucky am I? Best of all, I know that Anne and Fiona can read this and understand exactly, because not only did we share it all, but we're *still* sharing it all. Current Mood: nostalgic
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
5:30 pm	Any more chocolate, doughnuts or sugar cookies and I'll puke. Thank God I chose tomorrow as "super-vile-shift-the-last-10lbs-diet" start date. Happy Easter... Current Mood: sick
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
10:01 am	This is for all you girls 30 years and over... And for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!... This was a monologue by Andy Rooney from the CBS show, 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney said: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking? She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in whom she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage... Current Mood: cheerful
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
5:11 pm	And...Happy St David's Day! Shake those leeks with pride! I am getting sick of St Patrick's Day..or should I say "St Patrick's Day season". There are shamrocks and leprechauns fucking EVERYWHERE. Come on, get a grip, America. You're not Irish!!! *I'm* not Irish, even though I'm half Irish. Honestly...
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
8:07 am	Just made me giggle 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flush Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues. 3.. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included. 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics. 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke. 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
12:14 am	I seem to be hoovering the ceiling more than the floors these days. Damned spiders. I don't like killing them but a colony has sprung up in the bedroom - tons of teeny tiny spiders on the ceiling. A drawback of living amongst lots of "nature" I suppose. Went to OzzFest in Hartford yesterday. As festivals go, it was a little weird to be honest. Very close to town and we could drive there in half an hour. It felt a bit like Reading in that respect, although this was only a 1-day thing. And it was so...clean. Indoor toilets. Well-behaved people. Seat allocations. No banners or anything in the crowd. The worst things that got thrown around were tufts of grass. Even that stopped when the police moved in. With guns. I tell you, Glastonbury this was not. Even right down at the front of the stage people weren't dancing or freaking out. It felt a bit like a Nazi rally sometimes, just lots of people standing there, raising their arms in salute. However, Iron Maiden were superb, seriously wonderful. I can't believe it's nearly 20 years since I last saw them. Bruce Dickinson came on waving a huge Union Jack which made me wish I'd brought mine. Black Sabbath were honestly jolly good and played their socks off but it seemd that the bands were more excited than the crowd. It was just weird. Having said that, when Rob zombie played on the second stage there was a lot more crowd surfing etc etc so maybe it was the police presence that made people behave later. But it seems that in general, this crowd was just much more well-behaved than any self-respecting British one. A tad disappointing to be honest. Oh, and the beer situation ::gargles:: It amazes me how some Americans can go on about Britain lacking privacy (usually in reference to CCTV) when the obsession with I.D is just ridiculous. Notwithstanding the question of the point of such rigorous I.D requirements, even when relating to the so-called "war on terror", I truly wonder that a culture which claims freedom of speech (if not thought) as its first amendment can so blindly follow pointless and stupid rules. Okay, so...there was a stall set up at OzzFest specifically for people of 25 and under to get a tag if they wanted to buy alcohol. Won't be needing that, thought I. When I finally got served (and let me tell you, the prices would have made satan blush) the talking monkey behind the counter told me I needed a wrist tag. I'm over 25, I said. I have I.D, I said. You need a wrist tag, the monkey said. I stomped off to the tag stall where the guy asked me if I was having a nice day. I will be once I can get a beer, I said. He looked a bit taken aback that I hadn't made the customary bland response. His colleague tagged me and bade me to have a good day and enjoy the festival. I grunted irritably. Well, honestly. I get really sick of people being so fucking polite sometimes, it's like living in Stepford. Don't mind me, I just had culture-irritation all day. It was a weird festival. Thank God for Iron Maiden. Oh, and another thing. There's a local radio station which seems dedicated to crazy old republican farts - and that's just the DJs. Rich tuned into it in the car today because he enjoys winding me up and the first thing I hear is the DJ saying that the best way to deal with immigration is to put land mines along the US border and employ troops to shoot anyone who tries to enter (assuming they get past the land mines, presumably) after having given a 90-day warning to them all. I was speechless, but not for long. Rich asked me why I wasn't more keen on extreme measures of keeping illegal immigrants out, considering they're part of the reason it take legal ones so long to get through the process. Now, not only do I not have a problem with illegal immigrants in general, because you've got to have a pretty shitty lifestyle (one which most of us can't even imagine) to resort to all the indignities, dangers and tensions of illegal immigration, but, of course, the people who DO do it illegally simply can't afford any other way. If you can afford to immigrate legally, then you're JUST the kind of person the US wants - and if you can't then you'd better be prepared to do the shittiest jobs that no one else wants. I'm not talking about terrorists (who don't have to resort to illegal immigration anyway), I'm talking about the VAST majority who are desperate for something better. And where better to go than the richest country in the world? It makes me sick. When will we start taking a long-term view on this? People move, that's what they do. What would Britain be today without the influences of 1000s of years' worth of immigrants? I am disgusted by the racism I see spouting every day from the mouths of people who honestly consider themselves worthy, upright citizens. I'm sickened by it and I pity them in equal measure. People create such fear for themselves when they have nothing to fear (but fear itself, of course!). People wanting to protect a way of life that is, if only they'd think about it, in existence partly because of these "others" they fear and claim to wish to push out or keep out of "their" country. Disgusting. It's all about self-interest and the "me" culture that we all invest in. "Yes, but why do they have to come *here*?" these people cry. Because we (US and UK etc) live in the richest and most tolerant countries in the world. Where would you want to go? What countries would seem like nirvana to you? The vast, vast majority of people who immigrate anywhere are desperately keen to make their mark, to be a part of their new community, to achieve something, if only they're given the chance. But it's the tiny minority who get focused on by the Daily fucking Mail or some such other rag so that those already lucky enough to live here can be sucked into the belief that all these poor desperate bastards want is to suck the welfare system dry. "Not In My Back Yard. Not in my country. Not on my planet. Not my fucking problem." Can we hear ourselves? Are we really so stupid, so racist, so totally without the imagination or caring to refuse to consider someone who doesn't look like us, live like us, talk like us, believe in what we believe in? Have we become so utterly brain-washed by Blair-Bush that all we can see is terrorists peeking from every truck, every border crossing? Are we really prepared to give up our ability to look beyond what we are because we're too lazy, too selfish, too afraid to give up a tiny piece of our own bloated, over-stuffed lives to someone who has nothing? We have everything. Everything. Except compassion and a genuine desire to allow anyone to enjoy the privileges that we've had purely by chance. Current Mood: angry
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
11:04 am	Halifax Bank: F.u.c.k.i.n.g U.s.e.l.e.s.s
Saturday, April 30th, 2005
1:38 pm	Made me giggle... I was talking to Gary about the horrible DMV yesterday. He said that Dana Cook does a stand-up routine on it which starts with the suggestion that the DMV pays someone to stand at the door and punch you in the face as soon as you walk in. Laugh? I nearly bought me own beer.
Thursday, April 7th, 2005
10:10 am	A good thing happened today :)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
11:59 am	Apparently it's the first day of spring today, which surprised me because I always thought it was the 21st March. Or maybe spring is early this year because easter is..? Anyway I feel a bit chipper. Maybe it's because I stayed in bed until 11.00 and didn't go straight to the gym. Maybe I'm just a bit out of it because I was up til 3 again. Maybe THAT'S the reason I found myself dancing (80's style) around the kitchen to Erasure's "A little respect" just now. Spike looked at me in disgust and squeezed himself out of the catflap. I can't say I blamed him. Paul gave me another keyboard. I hadn't realised how much I hated the old one until I started using this...I think that's why I was up so late last night...the sheer sensatory pleasure of a nice keyboard, like a pen that you really like. I predict a flaky day today. Might have to go for a run although my leg's feeling very, very stiff.
Saturday, March 12th, 2005
9:45 am	Great blokey night :) God those beers were nice, must get a few more in. At 4 for a fiver, you can't go wrong, as my mum says. There was a really nice Marston's that I hadn't tried before, Oyster-something, really dark beer...my personal favourite. I hope they export it... So, we scoffed pizza and some "tear 'n scoff" garlic bread which was super-yummy, drank beer and watched: 1) Evil Dead - or at least a part thereof. The video tape was on its last legs so we gave up after an hour. This did mean we saw the tree-rape and the pencil-in-the-ankle moment though (time to watch-from-between-your-fingers moment. Why do I do that? Why does anyone? You can still see what's happening, it's not as if you're not magically protected in any way). 2) Alien v Predator - now we knew this would be fairly awful so our expectations were zero. Having said that, we'd both had a hankering to see it because, well, it's Alien versus Predator, dude! It was pretty terrible, and you could just imagine a load of over-eager script writers sitting around coming up with enthusiastic but badly thought-out ideas and then shoving them all in anyway. I found the "Beauty and the Beast" theme particularly idiotic but hey, it's Hollyweird, man. 3) A Denzel Washington film ("Man.." something) where he's a bodyguard to a small child with whom he reluctantly bonds and who is then kidnapped. Denzel goes on the rampage and ultimately pays for committing the sin of vengeance while saving everyone in the world (apart from the people he kills - including one unfortunate man who gets a bomb shoved up his bottom. Definite ring stinger). God, these crowbar morality tales! It was very watchable although it did that irritating thing of seeming to end and them having another half an hour of stuff to clear up. I called Rich before I went to bed and I'm very glad I did. Turns out he's terrified too. Hurrah! I felt so much better knowing that. In fact, the whole conversation made me feels tons better about everything and helped get life back in perspective. I think what I find most fantastic is how easy he makes life and how supportive he is. I was talking about wanting to build up the freelance writing and have a real go at la novel but I was worried about where this would leave us financially. I also felt pretty selfish: "I'll follow my dreams! Umm, can you continue with the real-life stuff and just pay all the bills, oh and be able to afford the stuff we need as well?" kind of thing. Anyway, he's just so relaxed about it. "We'll figure it out." He's even enthusiastic for me! I don't know whether I'm just incredibly lucky or I'm still getting used to a "normal" relationship. Actually, I know I'm incredibly lucky. Lucky me. Things definitely seemed less scary for us both after that conversation. This is the right thing to do. Panic over. Current Mood: relieved
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
2:39 pm	Meep... You scored as Schizophrenia. Congratulations! You are schizophrenic! You know how to space out for hours at a time in a corner and that The Dark Master is not joking..... keep on tossin' those word-salads... dress mess bless! </td> Unipolar Depression 92% Schizophrenia 92% Antisocial Personality Disorder 92% Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 75% Borderline Personality Disorder 67% Eating Disorders 0% Which mental disorder do you have? created with QuizFarm.com Current Mood: worried
2:31 pm	You scored as Canada. You’re polite, friendly and pretty much an all around nice person. Everyone wants you at the party but at the same time no one really cares if you don’t show. You might consider hitting the gym once in a while. </td> Canada 95% United States 80% Kyrgyzstan 55% France 40% Great Britain 10% What country are you? created with QuizFarm.com Jesus, what do you have to answer to be the USA? Or even the UK? I mean, I love Canada but I resent the implications. I think I need to work on my "fuck yeah" attitude some more. Oh, and how could they say that about the gym?! How could I go more often? :goes away and cries feeling inadequate then realises that internet quizzes are not meant as a serious indictation of character. Or are they?:
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
2:30 pm	It's amazing the amount of entertainment you can have with www.funpics. Then, if you combine that with an inadvertent update of AIM, you can have inordinate amounts of fun mooing and miaowing all afternoon! Current Mood: constructive
10:33 am	I ran 6K this morning!!! The euphoria shifted from "celestial" to "Christ-like". I don't know whether Jesus ever felt euphoric, but I'm guessing he did. That's as good as it gets so far today, apart from the fact that I have nothing I HAVE to do, a few things I COULD be doing and a great book that I will more than likely spend the day reading seeing as Will is afk, probably doing something time-wasting. Like working. I might get all my old clothes down to the charity shop. I might research some work-related stuff (avoiding audit). I might research my CT driving test / bank accounts / AOS. Maybe. Current Mood: bouncy
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
10:24 am	Oops, it's happening again, I'm feeling annoyingly fantastic! I made a couple of phone calls last night about la wedding and visiting folkies. When I spoke to Julia we did our usual thing of about 5 words (literally, 5 words) before collapsing into hysterics and potentially dangerous belly-laughing. This went on for ages - it always happens and is worse (or better, depending on your point of view) when we're actually face to face. I spoke to Rich after that and was in much better form than I would have been had we talked in the morning. I told him how I was feeling and I'm glad I did, although I pity him sometimes...but he's awfully good at listening, even when I'm complaining :) Anyway, got up at 7.15 today, scraped half a ton of snow off the car, went to the gym for 2 hours, came out feeling fantastico and then scoffed 2 crumpets, 2 potato farls and 2 rice cakes. I've got a massage booked for 2pm. Yay! Current Mood: awake
Monday, February 21st, 2005
7:21 pm	http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml A very useful site for Americans who want to understand British words and phrases :) Par example: "Zebra crossing - Similar to the pelican but with flashing orange beacons on either side. If a pedestrian steps onto a pelican crossing, you should stop. Unless you are in London in which case your job is to kill them." Current Mood: chipper
4:06 pm	I'm posting a lot today ;)
4:05 pm	A 5K run has given me the magic "celestial high" and made life seem much simpler than it did this morning. Hurrah!!! Current Mood: fighting fit